8 Tips for Positive Parent-Teacher School Conferences

It’s the season for parent-teacher conferences, which can be stressful for educators and families. Parents and guardians may be worried they’ll receive too much negative feedback about their students. Teachers may be wary of defensive or argumentative parents. But if scheduled and programmed thoughtfully, these conferences can be an effective way for teachers and parents to connect and develop a partnership that will benefit each student. 

Parent-teacher conferences can be important for improving communication and engaging parents to be advocates for their students and a true partner with the school and teachers. “Parent engagement allows for greater understanding of expectations, challenges, and ways to improve the school experience,” adds author Jeremy Monk in “The Importance of Parent-Teacher Connections” by the Samuel Centre for Social Connectedness.    

Here are eight tips for improving your parent-teacher conferences.  

Parent-teacher conferences shouldn’t be the first time you’re connecting with parents. Before the conference, you should have already introduced yourself either in person, by email, text, or by a printed letter. You may have already had some follow-up meetings with individual parents. 

In these early interactions, keep your communications positive. To set yourself up for success, send as many positive messages as possible at the start of the school year. Research shows that you should send at least five positive messages for every negative message. 

Notify parents of conferences through multiple media (phone, email, text, postings at the school). Follow up with those parents who don’t reply. 

For each student, think about specific topics you’d like to discuss, and prepare an agenda that lists each topic. Bring examples when possible, such as quizzes, written work, photos, or notes.  

Bring three copies of each item to the conference so that you and two parents can each have their own set. Offer writing utensils and post-it notes in case parents want to take notes. 

You may also want to use post-its to highlight points of interest on the student’s work. Your goal is to make it easy for parents to understand your message, and visuals are key! 

Think of your own questions for parents and write them on a separate piece of paper to reference during the meeting. 

One of the most challenging aspects of scheduling parent-teacher conferences is providing ample time to meet with each student’s parents or guardians without allowing the conversation to go on too long or eat into another family’s time. Consider leaving an empty block of time after families you know you’ll need to spend extra time with to avoid impeding on another parent’s conference.  

You can use a timer as a polite way to transition into summarizing the discussion and answering any final questions. If you don’t need to hold conferences on a particular evening, some teachers find it helpful to meet with one set of parents before class begins each morning. This enables the teacher to focus on just one student per day, and the meeting will come to a natural close as students begin arriving for class. 

For in-person meetings, it’s important for parents to feel as though they are on equal footing with their child’s teacher. You can accomplish this by choosing a relaxed, neutral atmosphere for conferences. A meeting at a coffee shop, for example, may help put everyone at ease.  

For conferences at the student’s school, choose a table everyone can comfortably sit around. The traditional set-up of the teacher at a large desk with parents crammed into child-sized chairs may make parents (uncomfortably) feel like they’re the students. A conference table, on the other hand, encourages an atmosphere of partnership. Set up seating so you sit next to parents rather than across from them. A table creates a physical barrier between you and parents, which is not the message you want to convey. 

Make your classroom a welcoming environment for parents. Clean your tables, tidy and organize your room, and offer adult-size chairs. 

Consider inviting the student for at least a portion of the conference. This allows students to share what they enjoy about school and empowers them to become part of the problem-solving process. Students participating in conferences also get a chance to practice critical self-evaluation and oral communication skills. 

Parents are your partners in educating your students, and your verbal and nonverbal communications should reinforce this message. You can convey this by stating at the start of the conference that you hold this belief, and by using nonverbal language such as maintaining eye contact, sitting with your body in an open position rather than arms crossed, and listening actively to what parents say to you. 

Start and end each conference with a positive comment, story, or individual strength you’ve observed about each student. Be specific and give examples rather than generalizations. Choose your words carefully throughout the meeting, avoiding negative terms like “problematic” or “failing.” Instead, you might say you want to help the student “reach their full potential” in a particular area. 

To personalize the conference, start by showing a brief individualized slideshow with a handful of photos of each student working in class or collaborating on projects with peers. This illustrates to parents that you care about their child as an individual. 

Ask your prepared (and in-the-moment) questions and listen carefully to parent responses while taking notes. You might learn about experiences the student had in previous years, a situation happening at home or extracurricular interests you might never have known. 

Active listening fosters a collaborative approach to addressing challenges. 

Offer specific, actionable solutions for parents around each topic that you discuss. Make sure parents understand why this work is important and how to gauge whether their child is improving. 

You can also learn about their communication preferences, whether they would like to engage through email, phone calls, texts, or other methods of contact.  

At the end of each conference, set up a means by which you will stay in touch with parents throughout the school year. A phone conversation, email, or quick chat as the parent drops off the student in the morning can be an opportunity to discuss progress or make necessary adjustments as the year progresses. 

Appreciate the Opportunity to Engage

Parent-teacher conferences are valuable opportunities to engage parents in their student’s education. By taking steps to ensure it’s a positive experience for everyone, you can transform a potentially stressful time into one that’s enjoyable, engaging, and benefits the student.